Lost and Found
by lucelafonde
Summary: Not all betrayals have bad endings. Whiskey Peak - The Aftermath (ZoLu)


Inspired by "Lost and Found" from Katie Herzig

* * *

He should have known from the moment that impossible kid jumped over the wall to free him. Maybe he could be forgiven for not noticing back then, for not realising just how much control the boy had over him even before the restraints had had a chance to fall.

He should have known when the kid lost his cool because somebody was going back on a promise, or perhaps sensed it when he proclaimed friendship for the unlikeliest, loneliest people as if it were nothing, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

It took him months to realise that he was one of them.

Luffy had the gift of making people focus on the good things and drive them towards a goal; Nami could barely remember the eight years of terror that used to haunt her with every step now, Sanji had finally been able to recognise the familial bond he shared with the pirate cook who had made him into the man he was today, and Usopp had learned to stand his ground, although his legs may be shaking violently, in battle.

Zoro hadn't even realised that his captain had had an effect on him too.

He didn't know that just a few months into the future he would be one of the Eleven Supernovas with the boy—no, MAN who had convinced him to become a part of his crew despite his protests; he had no idea that soon enough people would speak about Luffy in hushed voices, with awe in their eyes, and that he would be listening, a proud grin on his face, because the world finally saw what Zoro had seen that day: Luffy was a king. He didn't need the One Piece to prove it, he didn't need to follow in Gold Roger's footsteps in order to make him realise it – Zoro already KNEW.

Sometimes he wondered just how much difference there was between the former pirate king and Luffy. He could see it in their eyes when people who used to know Roger saw Luffy's resolve and passion – despite what his crewmates might think, Zoro was rarely ever inattentive. He might have been asleep a lot, but hardly anything ever managed to pass him by. In fact, he noticed a lot of things the others didn't, and he sometimes wondered about that.

What was it that made him take a step back when Luffy was engaged in a fight? He supposed it was the same force that motivated his captain to stop the others from interfering with Zoro's, but he still couldn't explain the source of it. It was more than trust that they would be fine without the other's interference, that they were strong enough to handle it on their own – it was respect and unconditional belief in each other.

He supposed he should have realised that in addition to being the only one to always instinctively feel what Luffy needed, he was also the only member of the crew who noticed the bright smiles and the contemplative looks behind the goofy grimaces of a boy who wanted to be king; Luffy played the part of a clueless kid well, but he slipped on occasion, usually when somebody threatened something that was dear to him, and Zoro could see clearly that this was a kid who had grown up too quickly, too soon to properly make the distinction between an eternal child and a wise old man.

He sometimes wondered.

Perhaps they had that in common, if he was honest with himself, because Luffy wasn't the only one who had lost something, who was searching for something that would complete him. He might have been hiding it expertly behind a huge grin and childish airiness, but the truth was that no happy child just woke up one day and decided to be the king of the pirates with a conviction that quite literally could move mountains if it had to.

He never asked, never heard the entire story of how Red-Haired Shanks sacrificed his left arm and showed Luffy that being a pirate didn't have to mean being a bad person or a ruthless criminal; that gathering a crew and seeing the world meant having a family and getting the opportunity to be the better man.

He never asked.

He could guess, however, that there was more to Luffy than met the eye, and even before they entered the Grand Line, Zoro knew that he was looking at a king, just as he was certain that Luffy saw him as the best swordsman in the world, despite that being a vague point in the future.

It didn't matter.

There were many things Zoro didn't know, some of which he would find out at a later point in time, but they were not important. What was important was that Luffy was grinning from ear to ear, tugging excitedly at the fishing rod with Usopp as they tried to lift their catch out of the water. What was important was that Zoro could see that ridiculous scar of his stretch with the smile, and that he was unable to tear his eyes away from the sight.

What was important was that Luffy instinctively turned to look at him and yelled "Oi, Zoro, give us a hand!" and that he left his swords on deck and hurried over to do just that despite knowing not so deep down that he would have grunted rude things at anyone else who would have had the audacity to speak to him that way.

They managed to pull the fish in, miraculously without Luffy falling into the water even once, saved by Zoro's steady hand around his hips because the swordsman was tired of jumping into the sea after his careless captain – and because it felt nice.

It occurred to Zoro too late that that might have been odd, that that should have been a clue, but even then he didn't realise what was going on. He didn't notice that the terror he felt every time Luffy stretched to catapult them somewhere was accompanied by a tingling sense of anticipation.

That it was out of character for Luffy to interfere with any of his fights when he pulled him off the mountain and away from the sicko-sicko guy after having stayed behind to buy the others some time.

At the moment he was too focused on fearing for his life and sanity, but in hindsight it was odd, and after, it would make sense, would fit together like an especially complicated puzzle.

But at the moment he didn't notice anything.

It started to dawn on him in Whiskey Peak, when he thought Luffy had come to help him while in reality his captain believed he had betrayed him and attacked blindly with no intention of listening to the truth.

He didn't have time to think about it in great detail because Luffy was strong, not just stubborn, and even though Zoro held back because he had absolutely no intention of killing his captain and their fight was interrupted by Nami, he had a feeling that Luffy would have beaten him in the end; of course the question remained how much of that would have been due to Zoro's unconscious hesitation and Luffy's raging anger, but there was a reason Luffy was the captain and not him, and despite most people thinking it was the other way around, Zoro knew his place and wouldn't have argued about it even if he had held any interest in the position of captain.

Of course Luffy shrugged it off after, laughing about food and in his opinion good reasons to slaughter an entire village, but Zoro had seen the anger, the rage, and he doubted that (as much as Luffy empathised with strangers) all of that had stemmed from a few beaten bodies.

It was later, once they had brought some distance between themselves and the island, that Zoro began to wonder just how deeply the betrayal had cut Luffy in the end.

He wondered briefly how he would have reacted had it been the other way around, and for a moment he remembered the feeling of being faced with the accusation of having gone behind his captain's back, and he couldn't breathe.

He had been too distracted then, but now the sensation hit him with full force, and he sank against the wall of the crow's nest, head between his legs, and tried to control his breathing.

The trust between them was gone, he knew that now, and he couldn't help but wonder if it had ever been there in the first place. The knowledge that Luffy would think that, that he wouldn't hesitate to believe that Zoro was capable of AND willing to do something he knew his captain wouldn't approve of…

It cut deeper than any blade had managed before, and he felt himself briefly reminded of his pitiful fight against Mihawk and Luffy's reaction to his defeat; he had been worried back then, for a moment thought Zoro was dead and upon realising that that was not the case, instantly accepted his swordsman's word that he would become better and stronger as if it was nothing. As if he hadn't just been beaten like a clumsy child.

The scar Mihawk had left on him that day hadn't hurt as much as the realisation that Luffy was as flaky about retracting trust as he was about extending it.

He didn't have to think about it to know that despite that, he couldn't leave. This was no longer just about becoming the greatest swordsman alive; this was about an obligation to become the greatest swordsman alive FOR LUFFY. He had promised, and he would keep that promise if it killed him.

And that was something Luffy inspired too, to take things seriously, despite his naïve appearance and behaviour, and to never give up on your dreams.

But it still hurt, and try as he might, Zoro couldn't bring himself to believe that things would ever be the same between them again.

In the end it was Luffy who found him, and Zoro was only briefly surprised at the rustling noise beside him and the carefully calculated distance between their bodies when he was pretending to be asleep.

Luffy was quiet for a very long time, and just when Zoro thought he might have fooled the other man, he leaned his head back and said blankly: "Are you going to leave now?"

He hesitated for a moment, wondering whether he might get away with it if he just kept up the charade for a little bit longer, but eventually he sighed and opened his eyes, staring into the starry night sky with Luffy before answering measuredly: "Do you want me to?"

"No."

The reply came quickly, almost before Zoro had finished speaking, and he wondered if perhaps Luffy had foreseen this, that his first mate wouldn't be able to make that decision on his own, that he couldn't leave without his captain's blessings.

"Do we have a problem?"

Luffy didn't answer for a long while, and Zoro briefly wondered if he was thinking about that possibility for the first time now, but then again he knew that the captain wouldn't have come here if that had been the case.

"It doesn't feel good," Luffy said eventually, carefully hiding his face in the shadow of his straw hat, and Zoro had to fight the sudden urge to rip the thing off and throw it into the water just to see how important it really was to him.

If it was more important than their friendship – something Luffy had been only too willing to throw away just a few hours ago.

He shook off the sickly feeling of dread and misplaced anger at an inanimate object, and forced himself to ask calmly: "What?"

"Betrayal."

He shrugged, but Zoro could tell he was tense, uncomfortable, and at this point he didn't even wonder about HOW he knew anymore; he just did, and somehow that made him angry and calm at the same time.

"I didn't betray you," he pointed out quietly, wondering with a sickly sense of excited anticipation if he should have brought his swords up here, if Luffy was going to finish what he had started, but he realised almost immediately that this was his own desire of ending this before it could continue rather than an actual possibility.

Luffy choked, and it took Zoro a moment to recognise the sound as a laugh.

"I wasn't talking about you."

Understanding settled into his bones slowly, quietly, and for a while neither of them spoke.

It occurred to him for the first time that while he was contemplating the events of his believed betrayal, Luffy had been preoccupied with thoughts of his ACTUAL betrayal, of his turning against his first mate and, as Zoro liked to believe, best friend.

It was odd to see the tables turned like this, for Luffy to be the one to flip them, but that was just another thing about the kid, wasn't it? Brutal and ridiculous honesty, even in the face of death?

He supposed it had been coming for a long time now, but he finally couldn't restrain himself anymore and burst into laughter, shaking violently against the creaking wood until his stomach hurt too badly to breathe and the tears were streaming down his face.

Was he crying?

He might have been, and it was only now that he realised that for the first time since he could remember, Luffy had not joined in on his laughter, had not shared the joke as he normally would, and it was that more than anything that made him sober up and move from his leaning position in front of Luffy in one swift motion so he could take a tight hold of him and press his face against the other's shoulder.

"You didn't betray me."

"I didn't trust you. Of course I did."

Luffy was angry, he could tell. He could almost FEEL the frown tightening the lines on his youthful face, and the image in Zoro's mind formed into that of a king again, bringing a fond smile to his lips despite the grim situation.

"You thought I had mindlessly slaughtered an entire village of people who have been nothing but nice to us."

"But you didn't."

"That's not the point." He sighed, forcing his face away from the heat of Luffy's body, and turned them too quickly for the other to protest or struggle so that his back was leaning against the wood again and his captain's head was now leaning against his shoulder. "It's what you do. This—that reaction, that anger, that sense of justice and vengeance is what makes you YOU. I couldn't think of it as a betrayal any more than I could betray you."

"But—"

He could feel the tears soak through his shirt, and he wondered when the last time Luffy had ever cried had been. It didn't happen as often as an outsider might think, so Zoro was shocked at the reminder that Luffy was, after all, still a child. "Be quiet. When I chose to follow you, it was for good, so whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me."

"You're angry."

It was typical that Luffy would see something like that, would point it out and prod it, and that fact alone made Zoro smile despite everything.

"Yeah," he chuckled, "I am. How could you think I did that?! What is WRONG with you?"

Luffy chuckled, and even though it was watery at best, Zoro relaxed slightly as he drew soothing circles on the other's back without being consciously aware of it. They sat there in silence like this for a long time, and in the end it was Luffy who moved first, draping his arms around Zoro's neck and settling almost reverently into his lap before he looked up and smiled at him from the shadow of his straw hat.

His heart skipped a beat, and it was only now that it was over that Zoro realised just how much he had missed this, that ridiculously goofy smile of his captain and his carefree attitude.

He supposed that this was one of Luffy's endless gifts too, that he could jump between moods as if his devil-fruit power extended towards his emotional state, and it wasn't the first time that Zoro appreciated the ease with which he could interact with his captain. Luffy wasn't the kind of person who would beat himself up over anything for very long, and Zoro knew instinctively that they would be okay now, that his captain had closed this topic for good as soon as he had smiled at him, and he felt his lips twitch with the knowledge.

He could feel himself lean in as if they'd done this a million times already, as if it was second nature to him by now, but he stopped himself just before their lips could touch, taking the offending straw hat and setting it on the ground beside them as carefully as if he was handling one of his swords because he knew that hat was just as much an extension of his captain's soul as his blades were for him.

"Don't ever doubt me again."

Luffy didn't answer, didn't even blink as his ancient eyes were considering Zoro with utmost concentration, and it was only now that he realised the captain hadn't checked for his hat once since he had removed it.

Smiling quietly at the unexpected triumph, Zoro finally closed the distance between them, no longer wondering if the hat was more important to Luffy than his first mate.

It was a symbol, nothing more, nothing less.

It signed to the world that his captain would succeed, that he was on a mission, that he had made a promise once and intended to keep it.

It was as much a part of him as Wadō was of Zoro, and he realised now how stupid he had been to have imagined Luffy without it for a second.

His captain was unexpectedly constrained for a while, as if he still wasn't sure if Zoro would explode eventually, but after a moment or two, he tightened his grip around the swordsman's neck and chuckled into the kiss, wrapping his unnaturally stretched legs around Zoro's torso, making any escape impossible.

It was now, a felt eternity after they'd set out to conquer the world, that Zoro realised he had been lost from the moment that kid had jumped the wall to free him.

Lost.

And found.

* * *

I realise they might seem a bit out of character, but I've always thought that there was more to both of them than met the eye, and the way Zoro and Luffy fight and work together is uncanny, so I thought it would be interesting to imagine what they would behave like in private when there was no one else to prove anything to and Luffy didn't have to keep up his constantly grinning and carefree mask and let slip a bit of the darker side he usually only unleashes in/before battles.


End file.
